I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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