Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
