Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
