Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
