Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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