Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
