i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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