so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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