god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
that is very illegal...i love you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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