You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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