If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
