Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
