mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
