Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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