I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
