I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
