Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
