Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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