fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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