Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
