Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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