What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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