Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
