Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
BRING THE BAGELS
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
