You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
