If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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