You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
