there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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