"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
