I need help removing her.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
