party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
