I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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