Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
