I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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