I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
