After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
