Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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