i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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