just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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