My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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