i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
