She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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