dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
this boner is exhausting
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
