When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
