I wish I could teleport
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just saw a hot homeless man
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
