and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I should be sponsored by Trojan
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
