I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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