And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
