Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
