I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
