paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
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